Anger isn’t bad, and can actually serve a valuable purpose, warning us when our boundaries may be crossed. However, sometimes that warning system is over-reactive, like a dog barking at everyone that passes by. As parents, we are part of our children’s emotional regulation system until they develop it for themselves.
How can you help your child when they’re upset?
1. Don’t problem-solve when upset. The more upset anyone becomes, the less they can think rationally. Our brain goes “offline.” Trying to reason with an upset person can be like trying to problem-solve with a drunk. It doesn’t work, and usually makes things worse.
2. Simply acknowledge the feeling. Just making the statement “You’re angry” lets them know you “get it,” helps them learn to identify their feelings (before they take over), and can begin the process of re-regulating their emotions. You don’t have to agree, defend your position, argue, or say anything else. (Remember, their brain is “off line.”) If you acknowledge the feeling, it often begins to dissipate. [Read more…] about Kid’s Anger: 5 ways to help your child