We can handicap our children when we don’t teach them important life skills through chores. Chores can be used to build self-esteem, confidence, responsibility, sense of importance and value, respect, and more. How do we get kids to do chores and not have Chore Wars?
1. Discuss them when no one is upset. No one is motivated by upset, angry, or critical (i.e. not good enough, or you failed already) conversation. We avoid pain and seek pleasure and comfort, so talk about them when people are calm. When discussing chore expectations: outline (and have kids come up with) positive and negative consequences to follow. Talk about ways to make chores fun with a game, competition, a reward system, or family time after they’re done.
2. Clearly outline what needs to be done IN WRITING. Make a chart, list, or pictures for younger kids. Adults use lists to remember. Kids need them too. It’s easier to redirect a child back to a chart, rather than reminding them (which can turn into nagging).
Note that generally kids don’t remember more than 3 commands at a time. If you give them 5 things to do, they won’t remember all of them. Break it down into smaller amounts and make it visual. [Read more…] about Chore Wars – 5 Ways to Help Your Child