How do you increase your child’s motivation?
External motivation is based on fear, avoidance of discomfort and seeking pleasure. We use this type of motivation when we nag, punish, threaten, reward or praise to get compliance. It puts us in the role of policing behavior and may work in the short term. It’s the “carrot & the stick.” There are times this type of motivation is helpful and necessary, but its results are limited. This motivation can be used to set important limits and boundaries and to modify behavior in a structured, systematic way, (similar to animal training programs).
Unless motivation becomes internal, the results will never last long term.
Why does that matter? As parents, we will not be around when children make many, if not most, of their decisions, especially as they get older. If they only buckle their seat belt because of external motivation, (reminders, nagging, threats), there is no guarantee that they will buckle it when you’re not there; when they are driving or in the car with friends. [Read more…] about Motivation