Praise focuses on external value instead of internal value. I’m (only) of value when someone else validates me or thinks I’m of value, which increases being susceptible to peer pressure and needing the acceptance of others rather than being able to feel good about themselves and listen to their own internal voice, or to have confidence in themselves outside of what others’ think.
Keep in mind it’s important to have more positive than negative interactions in all relationships. If you’re critical or negative, you may need to increase positive comments. We also want to use moderation. I’m not advocating doing away with praise completely. It has its place and is important done well.
If we understand the problems with praise, we can use that wisdom to help our children be more confident, self-motivated, and successful. [Read more…] about The Problem with Praise