If motivation is a bucket to be filled, it is filled with raindrops collected over time, not a one time event. It comes from both feeling capable of success and an accumulation of awareness, appreciation and satisfaction for a job well done. How do you help build this in children?
Here are some strategies.
1. Set small, attainable, FUN goals. These must be the kid’s goals, not the parent’s; things that they have desire for. Make them small to build successes. Success begets success, IF it is reflected on and assimilated.
2. Make it a game, a game they can win. We are all pulled more toward fun than drudgery. Most things can be turned into a game, adding fun and joy: increasing motivation.
3. Do it with them. There is nothing kids want more than our time. They will learn to love the work by loving the time together, and doing it in a playful, game-like way.
4. Pause after, for a minute; literally, one minute or less, after a task is done to reflect, enjoy and appreciate what was done. Life goes by too quickly to notice our feelings and reactions to many things. Taking less than a minute to notice and reflect increases joy, awareness, and motivation as a feeling of success and being capable grows.
5. Talk about it. It’s easy to assume kids know what we think, feel, or know. They don’t! Mention how good you feel walking into a clean kitchen, having clean teeth, completing your work, thus modeling appreciation of work accomplished, and the joy of work, which increases motivation by increasing awareness and by example.
It’s important not to be preachy or lecturing when doing this. Simply reflect your own positive feelings.
Remember that complaining about what isn’t done, the stress we feel, how tired we are by our work, teaches lack of motivation.
6. End of day review. Help kids identify things that made them proud, what felt good, how can they have that feeling again tomorrow? If THEY name it, it will stick much better than if you tell them.
